You can nudge the outcome of any social situation in your favor. Just try some of these life tips – you can apply them to almost everything you do.
1. When you first meet people, try to notice their eye color while also smiling at them. It might be because you look for a second or two longer, but all I can tell you is that people really respond to it.
2. Pay attention to people’s feet. If you approach two people in the middle of a conversation and they only turn their torsos and not their feet, they don’t want you to join in the conversation. Similarly, if you are in a conversation with a coworker who you think is paying attention to you and their torso is turned towards you but their feet are facing in another direction, they want the conversation to end.
3. Foot-in-the-door phenomenon. People are more likely to agree to do a task for you if you ask them to do something simpler first. (Gradual commitment makes people think you like them.)
4. Alternatively, you ask them to do an unreasonable task and they’ll say no. So then you should ask for a more reasonable task and they will be more likely to agree.
5. If you ask someone to do you a small favor, cognitive dissonance will make them believe that because they did that favor, they must like you.
6. If you ask someone a question and they only partially answer just wait. If you stay silent and keep eye contact they will usually continue talking.
7. Chew gum when you’re approaching a situation that would make you nervous. I can’t remember where I heard it, but apparently if we are ‘eating’ something, our brains trip and it reasons ‘I would not be eating if I were in danger. So I’m not in danger.’ This has helped to calm me a few times.
8. Avoid the sidewalk shuffle by looking intently over the person’s shoulder or between people’s heads in a group. Your gaze shows them where you’re going. They’ll drift toward the opposing side and create a gap to avoid you.
9. When you’re studying/learning something new, teach a friend how to do it. Let them ask questions. If you’re able to teach something well, you understand it.
10. People will remember not what you said, but how you made them feel.
11. Alter your psychological state before an interview or important meeting. Tell yourself “I’ve known these people all my life. We’re old friends catching up. I can’t wait to see them.” Visualize the experience of shaking hands, making eye contact, and having smooth conversation. What things can you not to wait to tell them? Hold an open pose, stand with your legs apart, hands on your hips, and shoulders back while doing this and SMILE. This may sound cliche, but you are in charge of your own psychological state and the power of suggestion is strong.
12. If you get yourself to be really happy and excited to see other people, they will react the same to you. It doesn’t always happen the first time, but it will definitely happen next time.
13. My personal favorite is when people are angry at me; if I stay calm it’ll get them even angrier, and be ashamed about it after.
14. If you have a warm hand when you shake somebody’s hand, you immediately become a more desirable person to get along with.
15. People have a certain image of themselves and will fight tooth and nail to cling to it. Use this information wisely. You can make people dislike you by attacking their self-image.
16. False attribution of arousal. When you take somebody out on a first date, take them somewhere exciting that will get their heart beating such as a roller coaster or horror film. This gets their adrenaline up. It makes them think they enjoy spending time with you rather than the activity.
17. The key to confidence is walking into a room and assume that everyone already likes you.
18. The physical effects of stress (increased breathing rate, heart rate etc.) mirror identically the physical effects of courage. So when you’re feeling stress from any situation immediately reframe it: your body is getting ready to something courageous, it’s not feeling stress. A great example of cognitive reframing, researchers found that you will do better when you appraise a stressful situation as a challenge and not a threat
19. Refer to people you’ve just met by their name. People loving being referred to by their name and it will establish a sense of trust and friendship right away.
20. If you make the biggest smile you can, you will automatically feel happier, any time of the day. Try it. Haha, made you smile 🙂